White
by White.Black.Truth.Lies
Summary: Trapped in a mental institution. Certifiably insane. Abandoned by the Military organisation who broke him. Alex Rider wakes up.
1. White room

White room

It was in a white room that you could find Alex Rider on the third of May.

In fact, it was in a white room that you could find Alex Rider everyday, between the hours of 1pm and 3pm.

He didn't do anything in this white room, nor did he say anything. Even though that was exactly what he was meant to be doing.

They even provided a very nice doctor for him to talk to.

No, most of the time he spent, looking at his hands. Slender fingers, bitten nails, nothing special about them really. But for two hours every day, in that white room, he would stare at them.

If you looked at his face you would see disgust. If you looked in his cold, brown eyes you would see fear.

If you looked very _closely_, you would see the slightest tremble in his shoulders, or how every sound would make him tense, just a little bit, in his hard, plastic chair.

If you asked him why he was staring at his hands he probably wouldn't answer you. But once, just once, he did. He told his very nice doctor that he was staring at the blood.

It wasn't his fault that the doctor thought it was his own, the doctor should have known that he wasn't talking about the fresh, new cuts on his wrists, he was talking about the people who visited him every night.

It was their blood that dripped from his hands, not his own.

**AN: the next chapter is up already, I was going to make this a oneshot but I really wanted to put this up first and the last part isn't finished yet. Please review i'm feeling depressed and need something to lift my spirits while I fail year ten...**


	2. White wall

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Alex Rider... but the ghost that lives in my room does...**_

**_White wall_**

Alex Rider stared at the white wall of his room, his fair hair glinting in the sun that filtered through the window, his pale skin shining.

_"He's only fourteen!"_

_"Nooo!"_

_"Please! Please don't hurt him!"_

_"Mr. Blunt, sir?"_

_"Double 'o' nothing."_

_"You'll be in no danger."_

_"She killed your father."_

_"Scorpia never forgives, Scorpia never forgets."_

_"Yassen Gregorovich is here."_

_"I knew your father."_

_"I don't kill children."_

_"Cub!"_

He closed his eyes.

The voices kept going, reluctant to let him have peace.

_"Miss Starbright's visa..."_

_"Alex, m'boy!"_

_"No guns."_

_"You're just a child."_

_"Druggy."_

_"Tom?"_

_"A spy!"_

_"No one can know…"_

He opened his eyes again.

_"You are a liar."_

_"Good bye Alex."_

_"Kill him."_

_"Alex."_

_"Alex."_

**_"Alex?"_**

**_"ALEX?"_**

Alex Rider stared at the white wall… and screamed.


	3. White pill

**Disclaimer: I don't own Alex Rider.. and the ghost in my room was lying.**

White pill

Alex Rider stared at the white pill in his hand. Another was added and another.

He stared at them blankly.

"Alex?"

He looked up.

The doctor stood before him with a glass of water. "You need to swallow them. Here." The doctor handed him the water.

Alex stared back down at the drugs.

"Go on." The doctor coaxed.

He raised his hand to his mouth and tipped them onto his tongue, trying to ignore the dry, powdery taste. He took a sip of the water and swallowed.

Then went back to staring at the white floor.

**AN: chapter three!!! i've never uploaded so many chapters at once... even just mini ones... another chapter up.**


	4. White pin

**Disclaimer: Why do people keep lying? Everytime I tell them I own Alex Rider they tell me I don't!**

**White pin**

Alex Rider stared at the white safety pin that lay on the white desk next to his bed.

_"Jack is dead, Alex… Scorpia got to her..."_

_"We've already had the funeral..."_

_"Her parents think she was mugged by a particularly violent thief…"_

_"Naturally we couldn't tell them the truth…"_

_"Jack is dead…"_

_"Jack is…"_

_"Jack is…"_

_"Jack is dead, Alex."_

He reached over and picked up the white pin. Unclasping it, he pressed the point to his scarred wrist.

"It's my fault." He drew the sharp white pin across the skin, digging in deep. He hit a vein.

Red.

Blood welled up and started flowing. Running down his wrist and hand. Dripping on to the white bed sheets. Splashing the white pillow. The white floor…

White turned to black as he passed out.


	5. White bandage

**Disclaimer: i've resigned myself to the knowledge that I will never own Alex Rider... but that doesn't mean I have to like it... or stop telling people that I do own it, I can't help it if a few people don't realise i'm being sarcastic...**

White bandage

When Alex woke up his wrist had been bandaged with white gauze, unmarked except for a splotch of blood the size of a ten-cent piece that was brown with age.

It took him a good ten minutes to figure out he was no longer in his room.

The walls were white, the floor, the roof. The white room on steroids.

The door opened, hidden before, as it was the same blinding white as the rest of the room.

A white coat sleeve appeared and then the rest of the very nice doctor.

The tall man smiled tightly.

"Hello Alex."

Alex stayed silent.

"You know you're in trouble don't you Alex?"

More silence.

"We warned you what would happen if you did it to yourself again." The doctor sat at a table, glancing at his clipboard.

"Your guardian has requested we take extreme measures. They want you healthy." The door opened again and a nurse walked in, holding a set of clothes and a small case in her arms.

She approached him carefully.

Alex frowned.

"They can't afford for you to hurt yourself again. They've invested a lot in you"

Alex edged back, uneasy. The nurse had put down the pile next to the doctor and was opening the case.

He tried to scoot back further but his back hit plaster and he had to stop.

"Just relax Alex… it will all be over soon."

The nurse walked toward him and pulled up his sleeve, plunging the needle under his skin. Everything went dark again.

**AN: maybe one more today... maybe... i'm swamped with a crapload of homework so... depends... Lies.**


	6. White jacket

**AN: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far!**

**Disclaimer: hello rights to Alex Rider... can you tell me who you belong to?**

**Anthony Horowitz! NO!!!!...**

White jacket

Alex woke up for the second time in twenty four hours and had to shake his head in an attempt to get rid of the fuzzy-ness that was preventing him from thinking cleary.

He tried to move his arms so he could push himself into a sitting position but he couldn't. His arms were stuck.

"Wha...?" He blinked and opened his eyes, thinking in hindsight that he should have done so in the first place.

He had to close them again quickly as he was blinded.

Disgustingly bright lights and white rooms should never mix when you feel hung over.

Wait... why did he feel hung over?

Oh yeah... bloody doctor, stupid nurse.

He rolled over onto his back and eased his eyes open.

Looking down to try and see what was holding his arms captive he gasped.

"Shit no!" He was wearing a white jacket, a sickenly familiar white jacket.

"Not again." He moaned.

He could already feel himself panicking. He didn't do well when he couldn't move. He felt trapped. Uneasy. Flickers of memories from the various times he had been held against his will started forming.

"Please... please let me go..." His voice was dry, cracking. He hadn't talked properly since his first week inside.

He screamed, cursed, spat at people... but never talked. What if he let something slip? They'd start to pity him... feel sorry for him.

"Please..." he struggled desperately, then weakly had to give up before too long. It was hopeless.

Hopeless.

He turned back over and tried getting to his feet but just as he got to his knees he heard a click. Instinct reared and he ducked, performing a strange cammando roll.

But then he realised, as the white once again turned black, that they were just shutting off the light.

He lay, curled up in a ball, the memories coming back in the dark. _Their _voices swirling around him.

_Their ghosts._

"LET ME OUT!" HE screamed...

**AN: more chapters coming I just have to think of them... thanks for reading! : )**


	7. White noise

**AN: chapter seven! this has been fun to write and i hope you enjoyed it there is one more chapter after this and then it is finished. thanks for reading... i would also like to dedicate this to agent-to-the-rescue for giving me the idea for this chapter and to upside-down-boat who is just plain awesome!**

**Disclaimer: i do not own anything but the shrivelled head of general sarov and i don't plan to own that for much longer either... **

**White noise**

They'd done it again, locked him up, restrained him against his will. Force feeding him pills and hours of sessions with the psychiatrist.

Bastards.

Alex rider sat, slumped against the wall, his head hanging down on his chest exhaustedly.

A low murmur falling from his lips in a rush of jumbled sentences and pleading words.

His lips were dry, voice hoarse as he cried out desperately.

"Alex…"

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"Alex…"

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!"

"Don't be like that Alex, why don't you tell me what's wrong?"

"NO! SHUT UP!"

"But I've missed you honey. I haven't seen you in such a long time."

There was the rustle of cloth and Alex looked up.

"Jack…" it was harsh, bursting from his lips in an explosion of emotions.

"Hello Alex."

"Jack?"

Jack smiled warmly. "I've missed you Alex."

"I'm scared jack, they keep coming back. I close my eyes and their staring at me. Their voices torture me when I'm awake, they won't let me have peace. All I want is peace." He looked down, fighting back tears.

"It's all right Alex, I'm here."

"Jack…" Alex looked back up, saltwater trickling down his cheeks.

"JACK!?"

He tried to scramble back, but his back hit the wall. Where jack had been there was now the rotten, mangled head of general Sarov.

Panting, Alex sobbed, moaning quietly.

"No… no… please!" He whispered.

Curling up into a ball he shuddered as the pale white and brown head floated closer.

"Please!" He whimpered. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm SORRY!"

Everything went white…

AN: yay!!! this was short... only one more chapter to go!!!! thanks for reading. lies.


	8. White mind, blank canvas

**AN: chapter... actually what chapter is this? Oh... CHAPTER EIGHT! YAY!!!!**

**cool I can't believe my little one shot has developed into my second best reviewed story!**

**If anyone reading has read my other multi chapter, Captured or is it Caught? Damn I should know this!**

**Anyway if any one does and you have reviewed thank you!! for those who haven't thank you for reading White!**

**DISCLAIMER: it's not mine! And I don't want to go back to the little white room and have the doctors beat it into me that it's not mine! so stop lying to me and telling me it is!! I don't want to go back... they have... SYRINGES!!!**

* * *

**White mind, blank canvas**

Alex Rider never woke up.

Well, not entirely.

When the doctors heard his screams they ran to his room. Once there, they found him sitting calmly in a corner, facing the wall. A blank expression adorning his face.

When they approached him, armed with a sedative and wary expressions, they were allowed into his personal space with out a fuss.

When they attempted to reach out and examine him, they received no resistance.

He took his pills, ate his food and drank his water with no evil looks and without attempting to kick it at them. When asked a question he would smile dreamily and continue to stare at the white wall.

It took three months for the doctors to give up. With no progress and no sign of the blank expression leaving Alex Riders' face they called his guardians.

They wiped his existence from their records and revoked their guardianship. He was of no use anymore.

He was broken, worthless. Alex Rider was no more. The body that sat, staring at the same white wall, day after day... was nobody.

It was just a blank canvas.

* * *

**AN: Alrighty! All done! Finished! Well... unless someone has any ideas for more or even an idea for a chapter before Alex Rider fades from existence. I'll happily take ideas and credit you for them... dedicate the chapter to you. I don't mind. In fact I'd love it.**

**Just depends on whether or not I think I can write it or it fits into the style and mood of the story.**

**Anywho please review because it makes me happy.**

**Thank you for reading! Lies. **


	9. White letters

**AN: I knew I wouldn't be able to resist writing another chapter of this fic. **

**For those of you that reviewed, thank you so much! For those of you that reviewed with ideas, all of the were fabulous and it's possible that I may still use some of them in another chapter… maybe… you never know. *grin***

_**White letters**_

_**Mrs. Jones POV**_

Mrs. Jones stared at the defeated boy who sat, huddled in a corner of the white room.

She had requested his presence in the visitor's room and had been quite shocked when she had received a very forceful no.

When she asked why not, she was horrified.

Alex Rider, teenaged boy of fourteen, special agent extraordinaire; had finally cracked.

The doctor had told her, Alex was no longer allowed out of his room, except at the dead of night when none of the other patients were awake. She was told, it was because, if he saw certain people, he would start screaming.

She had blushed furiously when he had added the color grey and the smell of peppermints, also triggered the ferocious attacks.

Intent on seeing Alex, she had convinced the doctor to let her into his room.

Now she stood, awkwardly, against the closed door as a small keening sound filled the room.

It bounced off the walls, growing stronger, louder, until the keening was a scream, a scream so powerful and… and… _tortured_, Mrs. Jones felt shame and pity well up inside her, until the scream was a shriek and the hair on the back of her neck was standing on end. Mrs. Jones stood in silence, and then she spoke one word.

"Alex?"

The shriek stopped.

Mrs. Jones sighed in relief. That relief was short lived however because Alex Rider had risen to his feet and lunged at her, all in one swift, graceful movement.

Mrs. Jones stepped to the side, just barely stopping herself from emitting an unseemly squeak.

Alex crashed into the door that she had just been standing in front of, unable to stop because of his bound arms and the pure force of which he had thrown himself at her.

He slid to the ground, the fire dying from his eyes just as suddenly as it had appeared. Brown depths turned dull again.

Heart beating fast Mrs. Jones gazed at Alex.

"I'm sorry Alex." She whispered. The fire grew then dulled again, as if he had used up all his strength in that one attack. He got to his feet awkwardly, stumbling back to his spot in the corner. He stared at the wall.

"Truly I am." She continued. She walked forwards and reached into her handbag.

What se pulled out was thin and white. A letter.

"This is for you." She murmured.

She placed the papers on the ground next to him and left, cutting off the keening sound as she closed the door behind her.

_**Alex's POV**_

He woke up to the smell of peppermints.

His blank mind cleared, the familiar odour cutting through the haze.

He realised he was screaming and stopped abruptly.

He looked around; he was alone. Frowning, he turned around so his back was to the wall.

Something fluttered near his knee and he peered down at the ground.

It was… paper? Three pieces of paper.

He got to his knees, leaning down until he could see the words that adorned the paper.

It was a letter.

_My dearest Alex,_

_They're not letting me see you. I've asked, threatened, and begged but they refuse._

_Honey, I'm sorry. I'm sorry they used me to get to you, I'm sorry I can't protect you and I'm sorry I couldn't stop them from taking you. I'm sorry I can't be there for you._

The black ink was swirling in front of Alex's eyes, blending the words together and Alex realised he was crying.

_I hope you can forgive me, I love you honey. I know I will never understand how hard it was for you to do the things you did, and I know you'll never tell me the truth, I don't blame you for that._

Alex shook his head furiously.

"Jack…"

_I just wanted you to know that I love you and I miss you, and when they let you go I'll be here, I'm not going anywhere honey, they'll have to kill me first._

Alex sobbed, his whole body shuddering.

"Jack…"

_See you real soon,_

_Your friend,_

_Jack_

Alex curled up around his knees.

"Oh god… oh god… oh god… Jack!" the words flashed in front of his eyes.

'_They'll have to kill me first…'_

It was hours until Alex could stop crying and another two before he remembered the other pages.

He sat up unsteadily, not sure he wanted to read what had to be another letter.

The words were written in a familiar scrawl, as if the writer was in a rush, Alex smiled; his best friends writing still displayed some of his characteristics

_Alex, _

It started.

_Mate, I don't know where you are this time, but for some reason it'd different. There's something wrong. I don't know what and I'm going to look like a real idiot when you read this after you're back and tell me it was just the usual death-defying mission that ended in another scar._

_But I have to write it._

_Mate, ever since we were six I always knew you were different, and it's not because you actually managed to convince Maddy Leah that mud was the only things fairies ate so we could watch her embarrass herself in front of every body after she had pushed me into the prickle-bushes at the park._

_Nor was it because everyone seemed drawn to you and you didn't give a shit._

_You were just different. _

_I think that's the main reason I wanted to be your friend. Because you don't give a crap, you cared about Ian, me, yourself, oh, and the adrenaline rushes._

_I can handle not knowing where you are half the time, I can handle knowing you may never come back, and I can handle the scars and the bruises, both physical and mental._

_ But I can not handle the quiet._

_Mate, when you get back, whether you like it or not, you're spilling your guts._

_I want to know everything, not the glossy version, not the safe version. I don't need you to protect me, I need you to be honest._

_I'll know if you lie,_

_Tom._

Alex blinked.

A slow smile spreading across his face he shook his head. Tom was right. He deserved the truth.

But first, he had to get out.

**AN: Hello again, the end of the next chapter. I hope you all liked.**

**Now, I know there's definitely going to be another chapter, I can't leave you hanging can I?... well, I can, but I won't, I'm not that evil. :) **

**Til next time,**

**Lies.**

**P.S. I just re-read this and it sucks.**


	10. White door

**An: I'm sorry this took so long. Exams and school are hell. **

**Dedicated to Lillywhitecherub who reminded me people were waiting and liked this story. Sorry it took so long Lilly. **

**White door**

Alex stared at the white door. It was the only thing standing between him and freedom. He could see the world outside it. The night sky was cloudy, rain pounded down, flattening grass and soaking flowers and trees. The wind howled roughly as it battered windows and doors. The storm had been going on for days. Alex heard murmured fears that if it didn't stop soon the town would start to flood. Distractedly Alex wished it would. It might cause a big enough distraction that no one would notice when he slipped away.

He was going to get out. He had promised himself. But it was going to be difficult. He had to find a way to get passed that white door.

A hand touched his shoulder and he blinked, looking up. The very nice doctor stood behind him. Alex believed his name was Henders. Doctor Henders.

"It's time to go back, Alex."

Alex frowned. He didn't want to go back into that room. The white room on steroids. He shifted his shoulder, wishing, not for the first time that night that the straight jacket he wore was burning in the deepest pits of Hell instead of restraining him.

He blinked again and let the very nice doctor Henders guide him back to his room. Glancing back once more at the white door.

He had an idea.

**Hope you liked it!**


	11. White Snow

**Disclaimer: I don't own Alex Rider or anything associated with Alex Rider...**

**White Snow**

The problem was, one he got out of this cursed place, he had no where to go. Jack was... gone, Tom would let him stay with him but MI6 might find out about him there. Since he had been declared insane MI6 had taken control of all his money, his house, all the things that Ian put away for when he was older.

He knew he had to get away but he didn't know how he could survive with no money or anywhere to go. Perhaps it would be better if he just stayed where he was.

Alex shook his head violently. He couldn't let thoughts like that control him. He had to leave; he couldn't stay shut up like this any longer. First, he would go and see Tom. Then he would think about what to do next.

Alex looked outside. It was the middle of the night, the only time he was allowed out of his white room. The moon shone brightly. Snow floated from the sky, glowing palely in the moonlight. It was beautiful. Soon he would be out there. Not shut up here with the smell of disinfectant and bitterness burning his nose.

Soon he would be free.

**AN: Sorry it took so long to update. I hope you enjoyed it. From, Lies.**


	12. White Chair

**Disclaimer: So... no.**

**AN: This chapter has now been revised to get rid of chunky paragraphs - 26/4/11**

**White Chair**

Alex had decided on a plan, and chosen the time that he was going to implement it. That time being right now. He had been thinking of all the subtle ways he could use to get out of the hospital but now he had decided on a different tactic entirely. There was exactly thirty seconds until the doctor came in to take him out for his evening walk.

The door opened and Alex focused on not letting his rising anticipation change the way he usually reacted. He felt his arm being taken as he was pulled to his feet and he walked slowly out into the corridor. He walked down to the window he usually stood at to look outside.

He had picked his night time walk because not as many workers were on call at night. And none of the other patients would get in the way of his plans. Alex looked out the window at the snow covered ground. He had to time this perfectly.

He started moving from the window, glancing around himself, face blank, emotionless. He moved slowly, pausing at each window to look out for a few minutes.

Over the last week he had started wandering around, moving from one side of the room to the next. He did this so when he did move the doctor who watched over him would think his behavior normal and not take too much interest into what he was doing.

He moved to the next window. This one was only three steps away from the corner. Behind the corner was a flight of stairs which led to the first floor. To the front doors.

He put his hand on the wall and let it slide over the plaster as he walked to the corner, trying not to tense as he waited for the call of alarm. The doctors didn't like it when he wandered from eyesight. He reached the corner and kept going, keeping his hand on the wall. Once he was all the way around he began moving quickly, not fast enough to create a lot of noise but just fast enough that by the time the doctor realized he would already be on the stairs. His bare feet helped his case, letting him move almost silently, only the quiet slap of his feet on the linoleum giving away his pace. He made it to the stairs and began climbing down them just as he heard the doctor's voice. "Alex?"

Alex began to run, hopping the stairs, taking them three or four at a time and jumping the last five. He crouched low and caught his breath. He wasn't as fit as usual. His life being almost motionless for so long had not been good for his health.

He started running down the corridor. He heard a shout and ran faster. He turned a corner and found the door. He reached it and cursed, it was locked with a password system. He looked around it, looking for the password, sometimes old age homes and hospitals like this did that, left the password close because they felt the patients wouldn't realize it was there and employees and families who forgot it would know it was there. But Alex couldn't find the password.

He looked around, he could hear running and if he didn't get out now, they would watch him, knowing he wasn't the emotionless shell he had been making them believe he was. His gaze fell on a plain white chair and he smiled. He ran over to it and picked it up. Turning he swung it at the glass doors. The cracked and Alex heard calls of alarm as the doctor who had been watching him alerted others to his escape.

He swung the chair again and the glass gave a little. He spun in a tight circle and hit out again and the glass shattered. Alex laughed as he knocked out more of the glass from the frame and jumped out of the opening. He winced as his bare feet landed on glass fragments, but nothing could kill the adrenalin flooding his veins. He sprinted out into the car park and through the gates. He didn't stop until he made it down the street.

He weaved through several back streets and alleys before finally pausing to breathe through a stitch and the piercing ache in his lungs and feet behind a supermarket. He glanced down at the cuts on his feet, they were bleeding and dirty but Alex didn't care.

He was free.

**AN: What do you think? Is this the end or should there be another chapter? I hope you all enjoyed it. Bye for now! From, Lies.**


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